Ireland To Close Embassy In Disneyland

Tánaiste and Minister for Foreign Affairs Eamon Gilmore has announced the closure of the Irish Embassy to Disneyland. The tiny sovereign state in California, U.S.A., which has entertained generations of Irish cinema-goers is one of Ireland's oldest diplomatic allies.

Managing Director of Disney Ireland, Martin Schuller, expressed "profound disappointment" at yesterday's shock announcement, "coming so soon after the Year of a Million Dreams." Mr Schuller said the decision "means that Ireland will be without a resident Ambassador to the Happiest Place on Earth for the first time since diplomatic relations were established and envoys were exchanged between the two states in 1955."

Facing down widespread criticism from Ireland's Disney fans, Taoiseach Enda Kenny emphatically denied that the closure was in any way connected to the poor reception of recent Disney productions. "This has nothing to do with Cars 2 or Tron Legacy. The decision was undertaken as part of this government's wider cost-saving strategy." Mr Kenny also added that he still considers himself a committed Disney fan, who famously pays for the optional upgrade to the Disney Channel with his Sky package out of his own pocket rather than claiming it as a ministerial expense.

The extravagant nature of the Villa Spada (pictured), in which the Irish diplomatic mission to Disneyland has been housed since the early 1960s, has come in for criticism of late. Detractors often cite the high running costs of the palatial residence, which is located, not in the 9 square-mile sovereign state, but in the affluent Hollywood hills. Many had pointed to the peculiar nature of maintaining an embassy for a state that itself is too small to contain any embassies of countries with which it has diplomatic ties. Indeed, on a number of occassions, Irish visitors to Disneyland, having lost their passports, have found it extremely difficult to make their way to the Villa Spada and obtain replacement documents, since it involves re-entering the United States.

The issue sparked intense debate on the popular Joe Duffy radio show yesterday, with many callers expressing dissatisfaction at the sudden nature of the announcement. "I've been watching Disney films for decades", said one caller. "One of my earliest memories is going to see Fantasia with my grandfather. I promote Disney values with my own children and encourage them to wear their Toy Story schoolbags with pride... This is an attack on our values."

In a statement issued earlier today, Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams said, "We can all agree that Cars was an awful film and that Disney's insistence on making a sequel alienated a number of staunch fans. But severing our diplomatic connection with Disney is not the solution."

Speaking in reference to Ireland's large Disney-loving population, Mr Schuller said, "I hope that despite this regrettable step, Irish people will still feel welcome in The Place Where the Dream Began," noting the abundant free parking available just inside the independent polity. "I know that this Sunday, Irish families will sit down together, as they always have, and watch Up or 101 Dalmatians and will have the spirit of Mickey Mouse in their hearts. The close and mutually beneficial co-operation between Ireland and the Mouse House in the world of diplomacy can continue – based on shared commitment to justice, peace, international development and talking animals."